My wife and I were having a discussion the other night about our friend who recently transferred her children from private school to public school. While spending some time at school with her two sons, our friend noticed some stark differences between the private school children and the children playing on the public grounds. For starters, they pushed others around, used horrible language, made sexually explicit gestures, and received no discipline.

Our friend is not the first who has listed concern to us about public school. Most, if not all of our friends and family know that we intend to strictly follow home school protocol with our children. Needles to say we receive some criticism from the well intentioned but somehow we always receive reports of how bad public education is treating their children. It seems almost hypocritical if you ask me. I think the reason for this is simple: deep down inside we all know that public schools are failing our children.

Before I begin to explain my contempt for public schools let me point out that I am not a member of some fanatical Bible thumping Baptist movement. Nor am I a zealot trying to enforce my views upon anybody. I simply want to distribute some of my thoughts in hopes that maybe individuals would be so intrigued to study and formulate their own point of view. Some of my views are sure to be controversial but try to take it lightly. After all, it is not the end of the world for a child to attend public school. My wife and I made it and we are, in my opinion; doing just fine. That said, our peers that have benefited from home schooling always seem to be a step above the status quo.

There are five main issues to address with public schools which make it a complete disservice to our youths: discipline, accountability, boundaries, individuality, and most importantly education. This list is obviously not all inclusive. These issues deal more with the cultural and moral standpoints. There are however uncountable physical concerns as well which I hope to address separately. I feel that the moral standpoint is of more importance.

Discipline

Tammy, a friend of ours and teaching assistant at a small school in Hawaii, sat down to a coffee with my wife one afternoon. Amongst other things they discussed Tammy’s job at the school. She couldn’t stop talking about how undisciplined the children were and how little they could do about it. Apparently, Hawaii schools are not allowed to reprimand the children under any circumstance. At the most teachers can send a child to the principle who can then make a phone call to the parents and have the child temporarily removed from the school.

So on a normal day Tammy would see the school kids pushing, making obscene gestures, and acting in complete disobedience all without any legitimate repercussion. Those children who were sent home returned the next day with the same attitude. No time outs, no humbling segregation, no stern vocal explanations of disappointment, just a phone call to an all too forgiving parent which results in no change.

How much of a distraction is this creating for the other school kids? How many others realize that they can get away with the same rude behavior? What kind of authoritative standard is this setting up for the children as they progress into adulthood? What does this teach kids about their peers?

Remember the last time you were driving along the highway and saw the result of a multi vehicle collision? For at least the next fifteen minutes your mind replays the images of the accident scene over and over again. This mind numbing effect is created when we see something completely out of the ordinary. As an adult only large scale incidents such as these really grasp our attention. To the still sensitized mind of a child it only takes little Johnny throwing a temper tantrum at the teacher to pull the classes attention. Once the little minds have been distracted it will be sometime before the teacher is able to redirect their attention to education. The result is wasted time and quite possibly a hindered teaching atmosphere for the remainder of the day.

Moreover, the children will see little Johnny back in class the next day with little to show for his insubordination. That’s when Timmy and Tommy Tucker decide to become scientists and test the teacher like Johnny did. Their formula, being the same as Johnny’s; results in identical repercussions… nothing happens. They may even go as far as to tell the next child who interrupts the class that he or she doesn’t have to listen to the teacher. Nothing serious is going to happen. It’s plain to see how out of control this can get.

But what’s the big deal? They are just kids having fun. They’ll grow out if it sooner or latter right? Actually I don’t think they ever grow out of it. In my experience the opposite is true. Kids with a lack of respect for authority grow up to be adults with a lack of respect for authority. If you really care to test this theory go to boot camp, especially during the summer months when high school graduates make their way into the military. While the lack of respect doesn’t last long, it is definitely evident that the younger recruits have a harder time with taking orders and following guidelines.

But the lack of respect for authority echoes throughout the civilian world as well. At least once a week you can turn on FOX News to watch the police pursuing a stolen car occupied by drug runners or bank robbers. You can read in the papers and magazines about a rise in crime rates and flooded prison systems. A young disrespect for authority only grows into more unruly behavior later and can open the door to criminal activity.

Looking even deeper into the physiological aspect one can predict the effect disobedience has on childhood peers as well. Raising Cain has great insight into this and being that I am not a psychologist I don’t feel I have the credentials to speak too much. I do however theorize that a child with misbehaving friends becomes a menace him or herself. John Hilton is an old friend of mine and a very devout pastor who has a great saying for this. “Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are.” If a child is surrounded by disobedience, expect disobedience from that child. In this manner public schools set the children up for failure by allowing disobedience to spread like a disease instead of disciplining the children.

Now don’t misinterpret what I’m saying. I don’t think that educators should be responsible for the discipline of other’s children. The responsibility falls on the parents themselves. But I don’t think parents can ever truly maintain a child’s discipline while the child is at school. My answer is home schooling and parents with strong will power.

Accountability

It may seem that accountability is somewhat synonymous with discipline. Discipline, however; is more a result of accountability. In essence, hold children accountable for their actions and discipline their poor decisions. Before you right me off as some iron fisted militant let me point out that I also believe accountability can be a rewarding experience for kids. For example, if little Johnny spills Jessica’s milk and just walks away laughing at poor Jessica there is room for correction. On the other hand, if Johnny spills Jessica’s milk and apologetically helps to clean it up there is room for praise. Both situations hold Johnny accountable for his actions.

What I’ve seen today is that parents let the kids get away with anything and don’t praise them enough when they do good. The same is probably twice as true in public schools. When I was in my first stages of management through my career one of the biggest lessons I learned was to praise in public and reprimand in private. Children follow the same concept; public praise creates an atmosphere where children strive to do the right thing.

Looking back at the friend that transitioned her kids from private to public school it’s plain to see the lack of accountability on the school grounds. By her own account, if two kids were in contention for the tetherball a pushing and shoving match would breakout until one child was left humiliated and/or in tears. The nearby duty teacher is either busy with other activities, uninterested with intervention, or just not paying attention. What can the duty teacher do anyway; there is no course of disciplinary action. The public school system is setup in such a way that accountability is impossible.

The implications are endless. So many people are unaccountable today that our retirement system (social security etc.) is a mess, health and wellness is poor and declining, immigration runs rampant, and people can get away with drowning their children without going to prison or worse. If nobody is going to hold people accountable when they are children, who will they expect to hold them accountable as adults?

In the interest of accountability some of the blame does fall on the educators for not doing something about this. If somebody is going to put themselves in the position of a public educator then they should be willing, ready, and able to fulfill all the duties it brings. Moreover, it is still the decision of the parents to send their kids off to public school and in doing so knowingly concede to the lack of accountability their children will learn and practice throughout their life.

Boundaries

Touching somebody in an inappropriate manner is not how one achieves their goals. Such a concept is truly barbaric and should be reserved for animals, not people, not children. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen kids pushing others to get their way. Furthermore, it may not stop there. This type of action may result in an all out brawl before a concerned teacher intervenes.

Growing up I had a step sister who was heavily favored by her mother over me and my brother. If we had a toy and she wanted it my step mother insisted that we share. If she had a toy that we wanted it became first come first serve. While I don’t think the boundary issue is this simplistic in a public school atmosphere, I do feel that the consistency is the same. In other words, one teacher may require the children to share while another teacher may enforce the first come first served.

The bottom line is that there are no boundaries set and enforced. If a toy belongs to one child then the others have no right to the toy (a boundary). If the child chooses to share great, praise the child (accountability). If the child does not wish to share and a different child violates the boundary that child is in the wrong (discipline). This example is rudimentary but I’m sure you get the point.

Public schools are too crowded to maintain these regimented boundaries. This is where public schools set children up for failure yet again. With no respect for boundaries a child will grow with no concept of self control. Look at the rise in sexual harassment allegations and the amount of money companies have to spend on anti harassment policies and training. Sexual harassment (or any harassment for that matter) is a violation of ones boundaries. Having to be taught that again and again as an adult is ridiculous. The same applies to other forms of boundary violations such as assault, burglary, rape, trespassing, etc.

My solution is the same for every problem: home school. Keep the children under the governance of their parents so that the boundaries that are set up for them remain consistent. Of course there are parents out there that have no concept of boundaries too, but that’s another issue.

Individuality

I remember being in elementary school when rumors began to fly about school uniforms being required for all students. Almost immediately parents and students as well as some teachers and principles were up in arms to protect the individuality of the children. My question is this, when did school become about individuality? It’s supposed to be about education.

The idea that school uniforms rob a child of his or her individuality is absurd. It is the atmosphere created by public schooling that truly robs a child of his or her individuality. Wait, let me explain. Every parent has or will experience the child who has to get the new Vans shoes or Abercrombie jeans etc. Why… to fit in! Ha, sounds like conformity if you ask me.

What happens when you take away the need-to-fit-in factor and give a child the atmosphere to express themselves as they want without the repercussions of peer enforced ridicule? You get individuality. The kind of individuality that doesn’t steal a child’s thoughts from school work but instead frees his or her mind to concentrate on study vice fashion. This may even eliminate many self esteem issues created by the popularity divisions found in public schools.

Of course there are still boundaries the child should be held accountable under and disciplined for when making poor decisions. For example, mini skirts, scandalous swimwear, underwear exposing outfits, tummy shirts, etc. are not aloud in my house. My children are free to dress under those guidelines without the concern of peer rejection while trying to focus on education. In fact, they can study in their PJ’s if they so desire.

Public schools tend to think individuality is a right from the day you are born. I feel individuality is something you earn when you display the maturity to handle it. Otherwise you have people that create pornographic material, wear very revealing attire, and even expose themselves in public all in the name of individuality when its actually immature abuse of such a wonderful concept.

Education

I saved the most revealing flaw of public schools for last. To best explain the educational shortfall found in public schools I’ll compare two people. Both are peers in my life, are within three years of each other, and are distinctly different when it comes to education, personality, careers, finances, faith, etc.

Subject A was publicly educated elementary through high school. He didn’t continue on to college and has little current educational ambitions. He is stuck in the lower middle class due to debt and moderate pay and his personality only stands out when he is drinking with his buddies. He also cares nothing for religion and just does things his way. His recollection of public school can be paraphrased as an uphill battle through Math and Science, a breeze through English, and a bore through History, not unlike the majority of school kids today.

Subject B was home schooled elementary through high school. He went on to get his bachelors degree and is working on his masters. He is upper middle class and on the right track to be very wealthy, possibly rich by the time he retires due to smart financial decisions and a good paycheck. His personality attracts everybody around him and people constantly seek his advice. He is also a devout member of his church and holds weekly Bible studies at his house. His recollection of home school can be paraphrased as excelling through almost everything and refocusing on hard to grasp concepts.

How does the difference relate to public versus home schooling? It’s really much simpler than most think. Public schools have to gear their teaching toward the status quo and in most cases lag behind with the slowest learners. For example let’s place subject A and B in a 20 student math class. Subject A falls in with five other students who are having a hard time grasping functions. Subject B falls in with three other students that grasped the concept long ago and are ready to move on. The remainder of the class is somewhere in between. So who looses? Ultimately every student looses. Let’s look closer…

Subject A and group get frustrated and feel pressured by the rest of the class to just deal with the lack of understanding and move on. They miss the critical points necessary to continue on with harder concepts and may eventually give up completely.

Subject B and group grow bored and loose interest in the subject. Their minds may begin to daydream as to other things they could be doing and not return to the subject matter. They may eventually grow so bored as to become completely disinterested in the subject or even hold the slower peers in contempt creating an ego driven personality.

The remainder of the class may go either way but are unlikely to be receiving the right amount of attention they need to completely grasp the concepts. Most will either feel slightly bored or slightly rushed. Either way they loose a certain degree of interest in the subject at hand.

Home schooling eliminates this problem. Instead of skipping ahead or holding back, the child is able to learn at his or her appropriate pace. Thus subject A grew tired of learning a long time ago and will likely remain in his current circumstance throughout his life unless something drastic changes his point of view. Subject B, on the other hand; loves to learn and continues to do so daily creating a thriving lifestyle.

Summary

At best, public school doesn’t guarantee failure for children as they become adults but it does set them up for it and that’s a cultural abomination. Ultimately, as adults they will have their own decisions to make and their own lifestyles to be accountable for. But to give a child the best possible start toward a life of prosperity stay away from the public school system and focus on home schooling.

Recommended Reading

On Becoming Baby Wise - Ezzo and Bucknam

On Becoming Baby Wise Book Two – Ezzo and Bucknam

On Becoming Child Wise – Ezzo and Bucknam

Raising Cain – Kindlon and Thompson

www.family.org